I used to find you funny.
You’re thinner now,
like each year has eaten
the pieces of your insides
that used to make me laugh.
I used to look for you,
as though I’d find myself
in the blacks of your eyes.
I used to think you were
smarter than me.
The time between then
and now has taught me a lot.
Like you’re an asshole and
assholes belong in butts,
or cold places.
I belong in warm places,
where the boundaries melt
into blue and white,
where I don’t need
the blacks of your eyes
to see myself.